dear cheerleaders
Dear cheerleaders - thank you again for your kind words, you mean the world to me.
I feel I am finally edging my way out of this fog, thanks to modern pharmaceuticals, my doctor, and Ireland's toughest community mental health nurse! I've been reading alot about depression and although I'm pretty smart, I must admit that there was tons I didn't understand. I recognized some of my symptoms (fatigue, headaches, hopelessness, and feeling suicidal) but I didn't know that feeling like, ummm how do i say this, feeling like a loser was also a symptom. I thought that this was the cause of my depression, my unrelenting and all-encompassing loserdom! I even asked a few people... "do I have LOSER tattooed on my forehead?" ... and I wasn't kidding! Sheesh.
So. The best thing I learned this week was that you should not let your mood determine your actions, but instead start with the activity and let the mood catch up. For instance, if I wait until I feel like it, I'd never leave the cottage and go out walking. Instead, I start my walk and about 15 minutes later my mood catches up. Walking is good. Sometimes I listen to music (note to self.. gotta take the Micah P Hinson off of the shuffle... he's bringin' me down).
Activity before mood is familiar to me as it's how I approach photography. My motto has always been: impersonate a brave person and your nerves will catch up. This approach has seen me through photo critiques, approaching galleries, and selling my photos.
I can't believe the amount of work that is ahead of me but part of me is looking forward to this journey.
I feel I am finally edging my way out of this fog, thanks to modern pharmaceuticals, my doctor, and Ireland's toughest community mental health nurse! I've been reading alot about depression and although I'm pretty smart, I must admit that there was tons I didn't understand. I recognized some of my symptoms (fatigue, headaches, hopelessness, and feeling suicidal) but I didn't know that feeling like, ummm how do i say this, feeling like a loser was also a symptom. I thought that this was the cause of my depression, my unrelenting and all-encompassing loserdom! I even asked a few people... "do I have LOSER tattooed on my forehead?" ... and I wasn't kidding! Sheesh.
So. The best thing I learned this week was that you should not let your mood determine your actions, but instead start with the activity and let the mood catch up. For instance, if I wait until I feel like it, I'd never leave the cottage and go out walking. Instead, I start my walk and about 15 minutes later my mood catches up. Walking is good. Sometimes I listen to music (note to self.. gotta take the Micah P Hinson off of the shuffle... he's bringin' me down).
Activity before mood is familiar to me as it's how I approach photography. My motto has always been: impersonate a brave person and your nerves will catch up. This approach has seen me through photo critiques, approaching galleries, and selling my photos.
I can't believe the amount of work that is ahead of me but part of me is looking forward to this journey.
Labels: phew
