Nerves, don't fail me now...

On Friday afternoon, before I lost my nerve completely, I went over to the medical centre K. recommended and was seen as a walk-in patient. When your name is called the nurse walks you to the examining room where you wait for the doctor. On the walk in she asked me "why are you here today" and I mumbled "some mental health problems"... of course since I was staring at the floor and mumbling she asked me "what did you say?" at which point I seriously wished for the earth to open up and swallow me whole. Thinking crazy thoughts is not so hard, to be honest, but having to explain to someone else what is going on in your head is pretty difficult. Especially when every instinct is to flee the office immediately. For the duration of the 90 minute wait I just told myself "two more minutes. That's all you have to stay for, just two more minutes." On and on the time dragged and I kept making false promises to myself....

My time with the actual doc went pretty quickly (let's say, five minutes max) and I got a referral to the mood disorders clinic at CAMH, which is what I wanted. Like everyone else, he listened to my current symptoms and prescriptions and asked "how long have you been bipolar?" Sigh.

I'm temping this week at the Toronto International Film Festival where I am conducting a market research survey on people waiting in line for the films. Good thing I don't have social anxiety, eh!

Stay tuned for more developments in Catherine-land!