Hi, I'd like some help....
Well I'm glued to the phone these days, trying to sort out some help here in Toronto. Jim found me the number for the CAMH info and referral line, so I called them last night. I was given the number for the distress line and the CAMH depression clinic. Called the clinic today and found out that you have to be referred by your GP (which I don't have, but guess I will soon). Once referred, for 200 bucks (for those of us without insurance) they will do an assessment and make recommendations for medication, which they will send back to my GP. Do you provide other supports, I asked? Like what, they said. Well, a community mental health nurse for instance (me, thinking back to Ireland). Not really, she said. It's more medication-focused treatment.
So, I'm already on a buncha pills, so I don't know that I need recommendations for more, or even different, medication. Could I be wrong? Sure, but I'm on a mood stablilizer and an anti-psychotic and they work much better than the anti-depressants I started with. And since I'm such a smarty-pants I figure I know what their assessment will be like, having had multiple assessments at the psych ward in Ireland. How different can they be? So what do I do? Do I fork over the $$ and hope that there are other programs that they could put me in touch with? Do I keep winging it? I think I have to say no to winging it since I keep sinking lower and lower.
Despite being an emotional mess, I'm a pretty demanding consumer of mental health services. Imagine having to sort through all of this bureaucracy when you are completely unraveled. Unraveled and broke.
There's still room on the credit card to pay for the doctor's appointment and assessment, so maybe I should just go ahead. I'm always telling people to try everything, and I mean everything in the fight against depression and suicide. You never know which will be the right combo of things that will help. I want y'all to remember that I'm doing my best to get help. It's just working out to be a bit harder than I imagined.
So, I'm already on a buncha pills, so I don't know that I need recommendations for more, or even different, medication. Could I be wrong? Sure, but I'm on a mood stablilizer and an anti-psychotic and they work much better than the anti-depressants I started with. And since I'm such a smarty-pants I figure I know what their assessment will be like, having had multiple assessments at the psych ward in Ireland. How different can they be? So what do I do? Do I fork over the $$ and hope that there are other programs that they could put me in touch with? Do I keep winging it? I think I have to say no to winging it since I keep sinking lower and lower.
Despite being an emotional mess, I'm a pretty demanding consumer of mental health services. Imagine having to sort through all of this bureaucracy when you are completely unraveled. Unraveled and broke.
There's still room on the credit card to pay for the doctor's appointment and assessment, so maybe I should just go ahead. I'm always telling people to try everything, and I mean everything in the fight against depression and suicide. You never know which will be the right combo of things that will help. I want y'all to remember that I'm doing my best to get help. It's just working out to be a bit harder than I imagined.
Labels: CAMH, smarty pants, Toronto
2 Comments:
Those meds obvs AREN'T working now, though ... I'm glad you're sorting out some options. And just keep in mind that moving is emotionally wrenching even when it's a move you want to make.
I'll write to my friend Beth, who's also there... maybe she's got some ideas for other things you can do or resources that could help. At some point she was on meds, not sure if she is now.
Sending you love and fuzzy-sweater warm thoughts. Just keep hanging in there.
thanks, liz. it takes someone outside the goldfish bowl to point out the obvious, eh? my current meds aren't really working, i just kinda forgot that! so, i went to the doc on friday and got the referral. brave me!
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