a sort of explanation
i have been writing a fair bit here about my journey out of depression, and maybe you are wondering why.
on a very basic level, writing here is a form of self-preservation. when i first posted on this subject, i really just wanted support. i knew that my brain was playing tricks on me, but as hard as i tried, i couldn't think my way out of it. the more i thought things over, the worse i felt. it was like slowly drowning in quicksand. it took your kind words and emails to help me reconnect with the world.
i also write because, well, it's what i do. this blog has always been about my life, and the funny or sad things that i see around me. these experiences of the irish mental health system will go in the screenplay one day, to be sure!
i also want to challenge the shame and stigma that go along with mental illness. a recent report from the UK says 1 in 8 people would not want to live next door to someone with a mental illness. that's just ignorance, or maybe fear. i dunno. 2 weeks ago i even emailed my story (so far) to TodayFM the morning they were talking about the samaritans. yes, ray darcy read my email over the airwaves-- "here we have catherine from cork..." i tell you that, just so you know it's hard to hang on to any embarrassment when the story of your mental breakdown and recovery is read over the national airwaves.
finally, i write so that anyone who might also be experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts will see that help is out there, and while it might be a scary step, it's really not so hard. when i started to get sick i remembered marsha's speech at joe's memorial service - i remember she stood at the front of the community room at the jefferson market library and told us if were feeling low to go and get help. i don't remember her exact words, but it was something along the lines of not suffering alone.
here are a few links:
on a very basic level, writing here is a form of self-preservation. when i first posted on this subject, i really just wanted support. i knew that my brain was playing tricks on me, but as hard as i tried, i couldn't think my way out of it. the more i thought things over, the worse i felt. it was like slowly drowning in quicksand. it took your kind words and emails to help me reconnect with the world.
i also write because, well, it's what i do. this blog has always been about my life, and the funny or sad things that i see around me. these experiences of the irish mental health system will go in the screenplay one day, to be sure!
i also want to challenge the shame and stigma that go along with mental illness. a recent report from the UK says 1 in 8 people would not want to live next door to someone with a mental illness. that's just ignorance, or maybe fear. i dunno. 2 weeks ago i even emailed my story (so far) to TodayFM the morning they were talking about the samaritans. yes, ray darcy read my email over the airwaves-- "here we have catherine from cork..." i tell you that, just so you know it's hard to hang on to any embarrassment when the story of your mental breakdown and recovery is read over the national airwaves.
finally, i write so that anyone who might also be experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts will see that help is out there, and while it might be a scary step, it's really not so hard. when i started to get sick i remembered marsha's speech at joe's memorial service - i remember she stood at the front of the community room at the jefferson market library and told us if were feeling low to go and get help. i don't remember her exact words, but it was something along the lines of not suffering alone.
here are a few links:
- Why Suicide is Not a Good Idea
- How to talk to your doctor about depression
- Loneliness
- PsychEducation (mood disorders, borderline and bipolar)
- Dan Fisher's Story
- Recovery and the Conspiracy of Hope
- PsychCentral
- SuicideForum (SF) (online forum, peer support)
- How to Think Ahead (wikiHow)]
- HSE suicide helpline: 1800 742745 (6pm to 10pm)
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