The 11th has come and gone. I stuck pretty closely to my original plan for the day and was glad for it. I started out at Coney Island where I walked on the boardwalk, talked to the waves, and the birds, and the sun and also did a short meditation by the water. I ended up staying on the beach for about 5 hours and I came away renewed, for which I'm thankful.

In the past year I've felt everything: I've been angry, heartbroken, disbelieving, sick and numb. I wasn't too sure how I'd feel on the 11th, all I knew was that whatever I might feel, I didn't want it to be at work. In the end, I felt blessed, both for the love of my friends, and for my capacity for joy. It took all day to realize the joy -- [first I fell into the ocean; later we almost set a corner of Prospect Park on fire during the candlelight service] -- but in the end I got it. God's message to me: Catherine, don't take yourself so seriously.