From The Toast Bible --
"On the first day, God created the plants and animals and people which inhabit the earth, and the land upon which plants shall grow, and the animals and humans shall live on, and the seas in which the fish shall live. The latter half of the first, and the remaining six days, was devoted to divine and glorius toasted products.
On the second day, God created condiments. The butters, jellies, jams, marmalades, syrups and other wonderful toppings [ed. note -- also Marmite] to enhance the taste of toast (as if it needed it.) And God looked upon these condiments, and placed them in his mouth, and deemed them: "Good."...
On the sixth day, God created a device which makes toast and toasted products available to anyone and everyone: the toaster. And God deemed that toasters would cause the toast to pop up from their pocket of warmth, and that a dial would be placed on its side so as to adjust the amount of toastiness. ...
On the seventh day, God rested, looked down upon what he hath done, and said: 'Yum'."